Optimism

If the world is cold—then i'll build a fire.

(source)

Sometimes there are ugly colors that you normally wouldn't want to use, but in the end all the colors you use will come together to make a beautiful picture. Who cares about how awful they seem at the time. Remember, there is always a bigger picture. So for the good and the bad moments....thanks for coloring my life.

Laughter

(source)

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." e.e. cummings

So I love to be happy. It’s the best. The other day while talking to my little brother he kept saying “tomorrow I love ya, I love ya tomorrow”. He couldn’t really remember all the words to the song, or the melody for that matter, but it was super cute and funny. I couldn’t stop smiling for a long time. I just miss my family. Especially my sweet forgetful mother. Haha I forgot some stuff at home over christmas break so I called my mom and asked her to send them to me... ya she’s still working on that. It’s okay though the way I see it, i’ll be home soon and can get it then. 

I really miss my brothers. Ryan always makes me feel so loved. Jaden is always the tough guy who randomly slips up and shows me in some way that he loves me. (Oh, those moments are the best haha) Taylor is the best because he just loves everyone. When he was little if he ever asked for something we’d ask “What do you say?” to which he’d always respond “Please and thank-you, I love you”. Haha he was the cutest little suck up. Oh how I love little moments that make you laugh. Another story about Taylor, when he was little, he would answer the phone and say “Hi. Who is it? What’d you want?” Except we had this weird phone where when you picked up you had to wait a second then say hello or they wouldn’t hear it...so it was always funny when Taylor would answer the phone because whoever was calling would only hear “Who is it? What’d you want?” 

Do you know what I really miss? My dad, he is amazing. Best thing about him is his calm attitude. He’s always smiling about something, or he’s always cracking jokes and laughing at his own jokes. I miss that. My dad always made my day brighter just by being himself. I need to be more like him and just smile for no reason; just be happy with everything life throws at me no matter how bad it may be or may seem.

I love Sundays

(my religion)

I just love sundays. They are always just exactly what I need to get my week going. I'm so grateful that my parents raised me in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you love your family then you would enjoy this video.

 I hope you all have a great week. Spread the love. Happy valentines day tomorrow!

Another Ending

My latest heartbreak...

Can you believe it’s almost valentines day! February should be such a romantic and lovely month. I can’t believe I have to do this so close to such a special day; goodbyes are never easy. This one I know will be even worse. It doesn't seem right to end this way, but you asked for it. I don't know how you could expect anything more from me.

It seems like just yesterday we met; you made me laugh, you made me smile, and you even made my life exciting. You taught me so many cool and interesting new things that I never would have known without you. You filled my day and made me constantly busy doing something. Life seemed so great.

We spent so much time together. You spent many mornings by my side. Many long hours in the library together. I really thought we had something special.  So many hours late at night spent with you. Did those not mean or add up to anything for you? I thought you'd appreciate that I gave up so many other dates and options for you. I know I’d heard about all you’re past relationships and how most them ended badly. I thought things would be different for us. However, after thursday night I just don’t think I can do this anymore. After all we've been through—how could you? I thought after all the work I put into us you would have rewarded me. I’m sorry but I think it’s time we go our separate ways. This relationship really can’t work anymore. You betrayed me when I needed you to help me out the most. All that's left to say is....

(source)

good riddance American Heritage good luck with your next relationship!

Dear midterms, you are cordially uninvited.

So this week I fell upon a natural disaster. This wreck is me!! For some strange reason I somehow found away to forget I was in college. Crazy, right? How do you forget that? Haha I just realized that even though I’m back in Provo and at school my head has still been on holiday. This holiday caused me to have a little freak out....possibly some small stress break downs here and there. Luckily I have awesome roommates and friends to keep me on track. I made it through a test and a few quizzes without dissappointment, but really I need to get focused again! Especially with three papers coming up in the very near future as well as an American Heritage midterm....eeeek! Being Canadian makes me American...., but in this situation I feel like I am not American at all haha. An amazing girl from back home shared this quote on facebook and I had to share it, it’s the best:

FINAL PRAYER.

Now I lay me down to study,

I pray the Lord I won't go nutty,

if I should fail to learn this junk,

I pray the Lord I will not flunk.

Don't pity me at all,

just lay my bones in the study hall,

tell my prof I did my best,

then pile my books upon my chest.

Now I lay me down to rest,

and pray I'll pass tomorrows test,

If I should die before I wake,

that's one less test i'll have to take!

(source)

So one night the roommates and I got talking about how we wish our apartment felt more like a home, and we decided a pet would make it a home. Unfortunately for us, you’re not allowed to have pets in heritage halls....but we figured if we could get a little tea cup pig Amy (the RA) would never notice him during cleaning checks if we made a friend watch him while she was over. I think if we would have followed through with it, this cute little pig could take away all my stress. In all honesty a Wells 152 mascot would be pretty legit. :D Hope everyone is doing wonderful. If this little guy doesn't brighten your day I don't know what will.

(source)

Ps. Yes I did get my housing set up for next fall/winter semester!! Craaaazy. Jefferson 37 hear I come. Haha

Everyday life

"When I get where I'm going on the far side of the sky, the first thing that I'm gonna do, is spread my wings and fly. “-Brad Paisley. 

(source)

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future. What’s coming for me, and what’s not? What’s going to work out, or what isn’t? What things will I accomplish? What things will slow me down? I know it’s cliche to say, but wouldn’t it be nice to see a picture of yourself down the road—see what choices helped you and which deterred you. I know it’s the choices that shape and make us, but sometimes I’m scared to mess up. I'd just like to stick to a plan that was perfect, a plan that could make me so.—drawn up—and I just follow. It scares me to go into things blind.

I know right, where’s the thrill in that? I guess that’s why life doesn’t work that way. It would be far to boring and uninteresting if everything was put down in front of us, telling us what to do. I’m just trying to accept that the world isn’t in my palms. Sometimes we just have to know when to take a deep breath and hold on tight. Take on everything as best you can.

The funny thing about life is that you have all these enormous choices to make, and after each one you think you’ve finally got to where you’ve been going. Ha! Funny. You conquer one mountain only to see another one lies on your path when you get to the top. It’s actually pretty amazing sometimes. The realization of each conquered moment is amazing. I guess we have to face one in order to realize it’s not too hard, then allowing us to take on the next one. Slightly building us up to be ready for each new step. I just keep hoping I get to were I want to be; I make it over each new mountain.

”I watch the stars from my window sill. The whole world is moving and I'm standing still” - The Weepies. It’s hard not to feel a little small in this world you often forget important details: your choices do matter, your actions do affect those around you, and you’re not as small as you think. Each small choice now can have a big effect later. If you fall don't be shocked, don't be scared, and don't lose the nerve to get back up. There is always one person who always has his arms open for you when your choices seem to hard to bear on your own.

Little Moments

There are so many little moments in life I wouldn’t trade for anything. Little special times where something small seemed monumental. You can’t forget the beauty around you; you can’t help but love little pleasures that seem surreal. 

(Source)

I love watching clouds roll by.

I love falling asleep content.

I love when I feel like there is no one else around.

I love sipping out of a straw when it’s almost empty.

I love laying on a blanket by the creek and watching the water rush by.

I love to pick up one tiny rock and listen to that one small rock as it hits the water. 

I love sleeping under the stars and your mind takes you everywhere and anywhere, but you just never can completely figure out everything—life is one big mystery.

I love echo lake and looking out in the morning before all the boats come out, staring and noticing how the sun reflects off it’s beautiful surface.

I love when I don’t let people down.

I love making popcorn and how it reminds me of home.

I love to run.

I love feeling sand under my feet.

I love when you can feel the sun warm on your cheeks.

I love when you are in a moment when you know you shouldn’t be anywhere else.

I love accomplishing goals.

I love feeling completely safe.

I love when you smile for no reason besides the fact that you love each new morning.

I love when I finish things before deadlines.

I love music. 

I love finding inspiration in little things around me.

I love being wrapped up in a big hug.

I love when the clock randomly decides to go by slowly at just the right moments.

I love when snowflakes are brilliantly large.

I love making Ryker smile.

I love looking up and letting big raindrops fall on my face.

I love dancing in the kitchen.

I love when the sky has pink and purple shades in it. 

I love sunrises.

I love the smell after it rains.

I love being addicted to the simple things.

I love cuddling in a blanket.
I love watching movies in the hallway.
I love sucking loudly on popsicles.

I love how simple it is to love people. 

It’s so easy to fall in love with perfect simple little moments. Just reach out and grab them. Don’t go half way. Don’t offer me half of a small and simple moment, expecting that to be enough for me. Each little thing, is not a little thing to me. 

Family

My cousin Monika is an amazing person. I love her just like a sister because since I was little she has always seemed like my sister. One summer she basically lived with us while working for my dad. We always went to visit her and her family in Edmonton. I have so many memories—great family memories—that she was a part of. She is beautiful inside and out. Over christmas break I had the opportunity to see her and her growing little family! Six months ago she was blessed with two little beautiful twins: Hunter and Brooke. 

Brooke is a little sweet heart who is just as beautiful as her mom. Little Hunter is the cutest thing and he is in love with girls. Haha, it's true at six months he already loves the women. Monika told me that if he likes you he will stick his tongue out at you. It was hilarious because whenever I would walk into his view he would stick his tongue out at me and smile. I fell in love with him instantly.

Hunter unfortunately was born with many health problems. Which kept him in the hospital till he was three months old. However, he is a strong little fighter and despite having only one working lung and problems with his heart, he is giving it his all to stay here with his new family who loves him. He was supposed to have gone in for open heart surgery on Friday, but unfortunately he got sick and it has been postponed. 

I know you don't know this perfect little angel, but I would hope that whether you believe in the power and blessing of prayer or not—you will pray for him. He needs all the help he can get.

"Faith makes all things possible"

"Wherever we may be, our Heavenly Father can hear and answer the prayer offered in faith." - Thomas S. Monson

False.

 

(Source - Unknown)

If I hide from it it won’t bother me

It’s not that you’re afraid, it’s just out of your control

If I close my eyes and count to ten I’ll be thinking clearly again

It doesn’t actually affect me

I should give up

It’s going to be too much

Life's on repeat

 False.

Never give up on the things that make you smile. Always believe in the things that make you laugh. Cherish the moments that make your day. Even if they don't come when you wish they would. Cherish them before they’re gone. You’ll never find happiness if you’re not trying to share it. Bask in hope—hope is its own kind of happiness. Be thankful for every little beautiful thing you get to enjoy. Don’t be afraid to be honest.

 “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” Bill Cosby

Don't let nobody hurt you.

I’ve been in a long relationship with someone very important to me—heck, this person is my life. She’s the reason I am who I am, and she hates me. This year she became my worst enemy, yet despite how hard I try I can't end our relationship. She knows me so well it’s impossible for her to leave me alone. She takes the hold she has on me and tightens her grip till she’s stealing the breath out of me—withholding all my air. She mocks me for my shortcomings. She blows up every little imperfection that exists in my past. Points out every flaw in my appearance. Reminds me of all the ways I messed up. Takes every little moment that seems perfect and presents every single way to point out that it’s not. She often breaks my heart. She knows all my darkest secrets; the ones that very few are aware of. She criticizes all my hopes for the future and all the things I dream of coming true. 

And, it’s hard to ignore her when you’re a ridiculous person like me. I listen to her and I can see all the many crazy things I do, and it’s hard to end our friendship. How can I not listen to her at times. She makes me fully aware of how crazy I am—to be living my life half in a dream. She laughs at me for the world I create for myself, for the lovely place I create inside of me. Laughing she breaks every moment in my life I stretch and expand; the moments I spend time making more than the simple moment it was. She breaks me down and hurts me. And yet, I hold on to her all the more.

I know what you’re thinking “Why do you tolerate a friend who crashes down on you and condemns you for less that what you are?”. Well, I’ve been trying to figure that out. The problem really comes down to this. I’ve realized that as I have grown up I have stuck to my childhood ways; I’ve held on to the imagination that creates my perfect world. So I let her in because I realized how fragile I have made myself holding on to this kind of imagination. Some hopes and dreams to keep me going are great, but the bigger the dream the harder I fell. So I let her in to keep me from falling to hard. Maybe life would be better without her cynical attitude, but I’m stuck with her. Because this person is....me. She is me.

(source)

I’d love to fully trust you, but she puts fear into me. When you say something to me that is so perfect, she convinces me I’m not the only one hearing those words.  I’d love to hand you my heart, but she convinces me it’s not capable of being safely held; it’s to fragile to keep from shattering in your grasp. I’ll be this person forever, because she is stuck with me. 

I’m not as horrible as she makes me sound. I believe in love. I believe in faith. I believe in honesty. I believe in hope. I believe there is good out there. I believe that beauty is all around me. I believe in God. I believe he loves me. I love that I'm imperfect. She might tell you I’m naive, but I choose to see the best in others. I look at my scars and I see the things I learned, when she would have me dwell on how deep the scar was, or the pain it caused. 

(source)

I guess this year my goal is to lessen her hold on me. She’s going to be hard to get over completely. I know I’m fragile—but show me someone who’s perfect. Eventually she will realize I am free in knowing I have flaws. Whenever I break her grasp on me it’s like someone is showing me how to dance when it rains. It’s all about learning to love me. To love her. If I learn to do that better then maybe she wouldn’t be so hard on me. Maybe she’d stop making me stay stuck in reality, and allow me to dream. Guess that’s my new years resolution. Time to love her. Time to love that little part of me.

Jane!!

Happy Birthday!

Reasons why everyone loves Jane.

She loves popsicles and she laughs at Karlee's lame jokes. She always helped me smile whenever I was sad and helped me be in my giggly mood. She pretty much was the head of the Tifuls, and for a very short time the VLC. Haha :P She gave me a foam for my bed at school! She did football stats with me for many years and went on many trips that were filled with fun...and well ya. Haha. Remember when the boys would come into our room and every time they had someone else's pajama pants on. Haha didn't Bo have Dylan's on that once? So funny. We definitely had some fun in jr. high. Remember those gummy candy's that we know from the football trip. I definitely bought those for one of the BYU games haha. Remember trying to get warm at the game in Calgary!! How bout the year we were front page of the year book.. oh ya. Haha.

Jane is an amazing blogger, I love her ability to express herself so clearly on her blog and come up with all these new and creative posts. She was the best person to study with while eating a bag of dill pickle chips and laughing at the crazy after effects. Oh Bio, remember those days! Haha or english words that helped us remember bio. Life was good. Climbing all those towers! Laughing at Steph for well we all remember what she did on the tower in Magrath. Climbing the Cardston tower and being scared Kate was going to fall! Remember teaching ourselves how to snowboard! Man we were two determined girls. Our Fairmont trips were the best thank you for letting me go with you.  Remember how good we got at playing the nintendo games at the condo haha gotta love Mario Party. Watching the documentary on Michael Jackson, playing pool, and reading books all at the Fairmont condo. Remember our candy table....wow we were insane. Should I even bring up all our lethbridge trips, sleepovers, and clubhouses....haha no I think those are still pretty clear in our memories (Shurpa?) haha oh dear sometimes I'm glad we all stepped out of that phase in our life. Jane is very talented and masters everything she sets her mind to, one day she will be a famous writer. First step Mr. H's wall of amazingly talented students second step, on the New York Times bestsellers list. Jane you've always been such an amazing person! We really did have some pretty amazing friends growing up. I am so glad for all the memories we have. Hope you enjoy this little video. I was going to do a birthday one or the one about "frenchie fries", but this one was always my fav. I hope life is good to you. You deserve it. You handle some crazy hard circumstances with way more strength than I could. 

Playing by the Rules: Dating advice from our favorite 9-year-old...

So I am thinking I am done blogging about Christmas stuff.... I think. So here is a little bit of a change from the norm. Instead of blogging I will just highlight a blog post from another blog. The link above will send you to it. Some background: this blog gives advice to girls about dating, some of which is from a book known as "Playing by the Rules". However, on this particular post a little boy gives advice to guys and I think it's pretty special; haha make sure to check it out whether you're a girl or a guy.

Christmas Eve :)

So when you're apart of the Cahoon family you get new pj's every Christmas Eve!! Yup, I know it's awesome. Here's just a little taste of our christmas.

 

Ryker and Me

 Always got to have a pyramid shot.

 Why yes, it does say "Bear Bottom"!

Typical before the actual family picture shot.... Ryan picking a wedgie, Jaden ready to tease Taylor, and Karlee holding Ryker while his mom gets her pj's on. :P

Now it's time for card games, board games, and movies. We love to keep Santa up really late at our place.

Christmas Time

It’s Christmas time and it’s beautiful. Don’t you love how it can’t be christmas without the tree—the sparkling lights—you could just lay under and admire each sparkling speck that you can’t ever completely focus on. Or how it can’t be christmas if you wake up and you don’t have a little avent calendar to eat each days chocolate. Or how it can’t be Christmas time if you walk outside and the cool breeze doesn’t cling to your cheeks. It can’t be christmas if you aren’t thinking about little things you can do for others to make their day a little brighter. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t wake up to a beautiful white layer of snow. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t wish to cuddle up in a blanket in front of a fireplace. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t read Christmas stories that invite in the Spirit of Christmas. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t tell all those you care about how much they mean to you. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t wish to be with those you love. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t get the opportunity to go sledding and laugh with friends. It cant be Christmas if you don’t get to rock a cute little nephew to sleep and kiss his adorably soft cheeks. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t get to sneak some of mom’s homemade caramels—that she assumes are hidden :P. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t make hot chocolate and stir it with a candy cane. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t find yourself reenacting the Christmas Story. It can’t be Christmas if the soft sounds of Christmas music aren’t playing out from the kitchen. It can’t be Christmas if your Christmas pj’s aren’t wrapped under the tree ready to open on Christmas eve. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t play a million different card games and board games. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t get to share a small house with 15 people on Christmas morning. It can’t be Christmas if there isn’t a ridiculously hard puzzle set out downstairs that you think you’ll never be able to get done, but with the help of the whole family eventually you do. It can’t be Christmas if you don’t spend a little time in line ups. It can’t be Christmas if  you don’t watch some of the Christmas shows that play each night before Christmas.

I love how we forget about our worries, our fears, and our inadequacies. It’s Christmas, we care only about our loved ones and the things that are most important. Christmas time is different for every family, but I think I have listed off just some of the things that make this season important for my family and I. No matter if some of these aspects are missing just being with my family makes this Christmas time wonderful. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! - This post idea just popped into my head while listening to Mistletoe - colbie caillet. It's great.

Ps. So when I was little and my cousin and her husband were still in high school just before Christmas they had gone and bought each other matching superman rings. They were the most amazing rings in my mind! Ever since seeing them I wanted one. I began to have this strange obsession with them. However, it has been many years since then and I never could quite get my hands on one—until today!! Yes, it's true I finally got a hold of the ring i've always wanted! Life is good. 

Christmas is coming.

A little song I like to sing to myself when I am lonely...

"Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Pleased to put a penny in the old mans hat
If you haven't got a penny then a ha'penny will do
If you haven't got a ha'penny then
God BLESS YOU!
God BLESS YOU!
If you haven't got a ha'penny then
God BLESS YOU!"

Merry Christmas Everyone! I love kittens and cats and gumballs and dum dums and santa clause and elves and flutes that sound like whales and when Karen sleep talks to me and still tells me she loves me even in her sleep :) I love you too, Karen.

Safe travels to everyone, especially you, Santa. Canada is a rough place. Put some extra traction on that sleigh and you will be fine. Also, my street is 3rd Avenue West! Thanks Santa!!

Elf Yourself....
Haha click this link if you want to see what my roommate made the rest of us for Christmas.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A little inspiration.

So sometimes I am a little hard on myself for stupid things that I have done, and silly mistakes I have made. Just recently though its become really apparent that I just need to move on. Forget what once was and step away from it all. I don't want the same things anymore life has changed. I have realized that things that were once important are now so unnecessary I can't imagine how they were once a priority. Life's changing in a good way, time to change and take a friends advice - "You are in a new place now, where  people want to be your friend. New people, new circumstances. What you did in the past can be forgotten because you are kinda building a new life for yourself here, like all of us are. . . but its time to just be a new person and trade up and just be the best person you can."

Popsicles.

One of my favorite things are popsicles. I love them so much I even have a special technique of knowing exactly how long to leave them out of the freezer before you eat them. If you wait for that precise moment you can eat it while it's still frozen but so it's soft and doesn't make that awful crunching noise/feeling on your teeth that is almost annoying. Anyway, I have just been thinking about how I have always known which popsicle was my favorite. I always know what I want, what I like, and where I want to be. Sometimes people really frustrate me because despite their best efforts they can't figure out what they want. I don't know why you think you have to like everything equally. It's okay to have a flavor you prefer. It's not that hard. I don't understand... maybe life is to simple for me, but I have a favorite and I stick to my favorite. That's just how I work.

Taylor!!
I am the worst sister in the world. I haven't called my brother to wish him happy birthday yet! His birthday was yesterday..... I love you TAYLOR!! Sry.

Unavoidable.

I love Calvin and Hobbes.

Hugs

Photo by : Trisha Zemp see more here!

I love hugs. I love giving hugs. I love getting hugs.

I love when a hug gives you jitters, when it makes you feel like your stomach is spinning, or when it makes you feel like you're in the safest place in the whole world.

Hugs from dad make you feel like the most special girl in the world—"Daddy's Girl".

Hugs from mom make you feel precious and beautiful.

Hugs from brothers are like a gift that is only given on special occasions, and it's your favorite out of all the other gifts.

Hugs from boy-friends are like a warm blanket you want to stay wrapped up in.

Hugs from that one boy gives you butterflies.

Hugs from aunts and uncles makes you feel like your being looked out for.

Hugs from friends make you feel happy and missed.

Hugs from little cousins make you feel admired.

Hugs from babies make you feel like your apart of something special.

The most important hug will be from my older brother who I have not yet met in person....I'm certain there are no words to describe what I will feel when I receive it.

FACTS ABOUT HUGS

There is no such thing as a bad hug (if given for the right reasons); there are only good hugs and great hugs

Hug someone at least once a day and twice on a rainy or snowy day.

Hug with a smile or kiss on the forehead (optional)

A snuggle is a longish hug.

Bedtime hugs make you smile and help you get a good nights rest.

Never hug tomorrow someone you could hug today.

You cannot give a hug - without getting one.

Hugs are great when they mean the same thing to the giver and the recipient.

Hugs are meant to show someone you care.

Hugs are sharing a little piece of your heart.

(http://www.superlaugh.com/1/hugfacts.htm)

Don't forget to hug all the ones you love this Christmas season!!