Epiphany

I have begun to realize one of the major reasons why I loved my dorm/apartment at BYU.
That reason being.....five roommates.

So here's my story... I like my bedroom it is my little haven when I need my space—I love it! However, sharing an apartment with five girls the chances are when you wake up in the night someone else is up, or just simply around. I guess you could say it's comforting to just have people around.

Now if you don't exactly follow me trust me you'll see where I'm coming from soon. Upon coming home again I went back to my old room...downstairs...all alone.

I hate the dark! (I was extra aware of this today because the power was out and there are no windows in my room!!) Call me immature, nieve, or chicken doesn't change anything. haha I'm just scared of the dark when I'm alone. When I have others around me no big deal, but when I'm alone I am really not a fan.

I don't exactly know what scares me most. I just don't like it. I feel like at any moment someone is going to jump out of a corner and try to scare me whether it's my brother, a mouse, or a monster under my bed I am not sure. Something just wants to scare me.

I remember when I was little and no limb could be off the edge of my bed or I would freak out and my blood would start pumping. Guess we all had the monster under the bed stage. Even though I don't believe there is a monster under my bed now, it's been ingrained in my mind not to let any part of my body hang over the edge. Haha talk about habit formed condition.

Or how I would have a recurring dream about snakes climbing the stairs to come get me. I remember waking up once and running to my mom, but once I got to her room I didn't want to have to wake her. This led to me sleeping on her floor until I realized it would be even easier for the snakes to get me so I ran back to my bed.

I can think of so many reasons why people hate the dark
1. stub your toes
2. trip over things
3. miss the last stair/think you already stepped off the last stair
4. run into things (once I played murder in the dark...result was a bloody nose from running into the ping pong table in my basement haha)
5. mistake a streetlight for a dinosaur's eye (note to self - don't allow your kids to watch jurassic park at a young age)
6. your mind tricks you into seeing things that aren't there
7. spiders...bet you've all heard stories about the spiders that crawl over you whilst you sleep :(
8. in movies.... bad things seem to happen in the dark

So I love being home but I would love it even more if I wasn't sharing the basement with myself and my imagination. It's not so much the dark I'm scared of but every little thing I'm not aware of because of the dark. I think it's about time I got a window put into my room don't you?