It's a really long journey

Ooo karlee you done it again you crazy girl. I wish I was better at controlling my thoughts. Your mind has his way of imagining the best possible picture it can create and then bam. You hit the brick wall of reality and your back to square one.

What do you see?

Sometimes I just sit and think about all the things I want out of life. Some people would rather just take whatever it is life puts in their path but that's not me. I look at all the things I don't yet have and just imagine how great it will be when I have what I'm holding on for. I'm not talking about 'things' like the things I'd wish to have on pinterest. No I am referring to much bigger things than that.When you know what you need to be happy for the rest of your life little moments can distract you, but ultimately you never settle for less than what you know is right for you. There are so many beautiful things in my life sometimes I forget them, sometimes I don't notice them, and sometimes I avoid them. I don't know why I do but it happens. However, it makes them so much more beautiful when you notice what's been missing.

I wonder if I will have all these dreams, wishes and promises. Will they be as perfect as I imagine them to be? Right now I feel like I just want to reach out and bear hug my future just run at it full tilt, but no matter how fast I run my timing isn't my own. It's like swimming up stream. So instead I'm clenching my fists as tight as I can on what little I have to hold on to. Simply waiting for the beautiful things I see to be right in front of me; doing all that I can to make the waiting not so long, but knowing only so much is in my control.